Sidetracked by Uselessness

Let me explain that:

It's pretty obvious by now that I fall into a funk very easily. So last week, as the funk did descend, I considered expressing my ennui with... everything by making a little book to be titled "Useless - a Self-portrait". Oh how I loves me the melodrama.

Lil Bit

Looks a lot like a rectangular Oreo doesn't it? Mmmm. Irony for the food addict.

Anyway. The book was a simple premise: a little crocheted book with solid covers and spine but with empty pages. Not just blank pages - empty. Each page like a little open frame.

Empty & Open

You know, a book that would be useless as a journal. Useless. Get it? Not too subtle? Hey cut me some slack, work stemming from a funky melodramatic impulse isn't supposed to be elegant - just self-indulgent.

So what's the problem? Why so long no post?

It took me three freaking days to get it done! Three! Days! My hand-brain commlink just wouldn't stay connected. By the time the neurological solar-flares cleared the funk had lifted and my newly stabilized mood considered the title and project a tad excessive. That kind of sapped all the desire to complete it from my wretched little soul.

But I also found myself tired of being incomplete. Person, woman, capitalist, maker - you freakin' name it.

So I pushed on and put the thing together.

Floppy Mess

All I see are flaws. The pages needed to be starched to lay flat and even. The covers are too floppy making it all look like a skinny wedge of cake rather than a hearty little book. The title needed to be stitched on before attaching the back cover to the spine - too hard to do blind now even though there is enough space. All in all frustrated and disappointed.

Sum Total

So it lays in the pile-o-completed-stuff-that-is-really-only-kinda-finished-but-that-I-still-have-no-idea-what-to-do-with corner of my room.

Incomplete.

Is it worth it to reinforce the pages with wire, double up the covers around felt inserts and bully my way into stitching the title into the spine?

No.

Maybe.

I don't know.

It really just doesn't matter. Which is usually my code catch-all phrase for "it freaking matters all too much to me and I don't want to think about it anymore". Maybe a little time away from it will settle my mind. After all, when it comes to books I do tend to take years to finish them. Reason/justification to stick with the small, fast projects. Small projects for small attention spans... and minds.

Hey, wait. It IS a small project. And it's undone. Incomplete.

Minuscule mind then.

Well at least I took the photo and can move on to other things. Have a backlog of Xmas stuff that I want to write about. But one thing at a time. These posts are long and rambling enough as is.

Hook On.
C